I mean I am truly lost here. This happened very suddenly, and I had no time to plan or prepare. One night, a few years ago, when I was still young and cool, I went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I was an old guy and not even the least bit cool.

I didn't even have time to go out and buy an "old guy" wardrobe.  Even if I did have time, I wouldn't know what to buy, because I had never been an old guy before. Not long ago I saw an article on the Internet that listed what a guy over 60 should never wear. I am sure that they somehow got into my house and listed everything I own.

I’m not trying to look young, I just don't know how to "dress my age.”

I can't say that I like this new role that I find myself in. Perhaps what bothers me most is not knowing how to live as an old guy. You see, most of the time, I don't feel like an old guy. I still feel like that young guy who was wearing bell-bottom jeans, had long hair, and was hanging around Greenwich Village doing fun things.

There are things, of course, that remind me that I am an old guy… Things like the minor aches and pains that I feel when I get up in the morning, my worsening hearing loss, and of course, the greatest reminder is my bathroom mirror.

So, I have intellectually accepted that I am an old guy. Emotionally, however, I am fighting tooth and nail to not be an old guy. Even the things that I do to try to stay healthy remind me that I am old. I lift weights, but each year, instead of getting stronger, I find I am getting a little weaker. I walk, to try to stay fit, but each year, it is a tiny bit more difficult and occasionally I limp a little.

People also treat you differently when you are an old guy. It's subtle, but if you are aware, you'll notice it. You become a little less relevant. Perhaps that's why I prefer hanging around with my dog Pete. He doesn't know I'm old and still thinks I’m cool. At least he hasn't told me otherwise.

I heard that the way to tell if you are old is to fall with people around. If they laugh at your clumsiness, you are young. If they run over to help you up and they seem concerned, you are old.

I plan to go to a mall, fall down, and see what happens. Then I will go buy an "old guy" wardrobe if I can figure out what that looks like. Maybe I will pass on the falling down part. A broken hip isn't a good look.

Please keep your, "you're only as old as you feel" comments to yourself. It's not true. The same goes for "age is a state of mind." However, if you can recommend "old guy" styles, I will consider them.

Maybe you are better at this than me.

Lastly, if you ever invent a time machine, please contact me immediately. I want to reserve a spot to go back to the 70s.

Thanks, from an old guy.